🏠 Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish!

⛑️Christmas came early. On November 12th, an under-construction tunnel in Uttarakhand, India collapsed, trapping 41 workers inside. With no evacuation shafts, the workers faced a precarious, weeks-long stay.

Quickly, a wide-reaching rescue effort was assembled, with expertise and machinery from around the world. Freeing the men would require one of the most intensive and careful drilling efforts since a brash group of oil drillers led by Harry Stamper landed on an asteroid to save the world.

The drilling to rescue the workers was no less fraught with problems than in Armageddon. The first tunnel-boring machine was too slow. Then cracking sounds - not a welcome noise when dealing with an unstable rock mass - halted drilling on November 17th. Debris caused significant damage to the machine on November 22nd and 23rd, leading to delays for repair. Then, after drilling 75% of the way through the debris, the machine broke down and became stuck in the tunnel on November 25th.

Finally, given the sensitivity of the debris, individual miners used hammers and chisels to continue forging their way toward the workers. On November 28th, “rat-hole” miners finally reached the trapped workers. After 16 days in terrifying captivity, they were evacuated one by one on stretchers.

Australian tunneling expert, Arnold Dix, was engaged for the mission and called it a miracle. When he arrived, he declared all 41 people would go home unhurt by Christmas. Indeed, Christmas came early.

He lauded the incredible teamwork and communication of all involved, who focused on the solitary goal of bringing the workers home. For his own efforts, Dix received praise from the Australian Prime Minister. The legend replied: “It’s been my privilege and pleasure to show that we’re fantastic at not just cricket. I love cricket, but we do other things as well, including tunnel rescue.”

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

Dix’s national pride aside, in the most perilous of situations, it’s heartening to watch motivated helpers from across the globe mobilize with an unrelenting focus on saving endangered lives. We maintain a belief that, in times of danger, the “good guys” will soon arrive. It’s moments like these that reinforce that belief.

🐶 The Grinch never wins. You’d have to be a real Grinch to steal 500 pounds of food from senior dogs. Actually, you’d have to be worse than the Grinch; he loved his one true pal, Max. That didn’t stop someone from stealing more than $1,000 worth of dog food from an animal shelter in Pennsylvania.

The donated food is ideal for senior dogs because of its digestibility and nutritional content. It’s also distributed from the shelter to the foster families of senior dogs to ensure a healthy and happy four-legged friend. But the theft threatened the shelter’s winter supply and the dogs that relied on it. With senior dogs less frequently adopted to begin with, that kind of setback is most unwelcome.

Fortunately, there are many do-gooders unwilling to see harmless and loving dogs go hungry, especially around the holidays. Thanks to donations of food from Petco and food distributors as well as cash donations from the public, the Cherished Friends supply has been swiftly replenished. Liz Jones, who runs the center, has been overcome by the outpouring from all over the country, with donations streaming in from everywhere from Wisconsin to Louisiana.

Just when things look most bleak, you can count on a community to form irrespective of location, uniting around a soft spot for a dog’s warmth. Dog owners know how much they have to offer us, and helping them remain healthy, well-fed, safe, and happy so they can work their magic is a cause near to so many hearts.

Some bonus good dog news: a drug that could potentially extend the life spans of large-breed dogs is nearing approval. Longer lives for Bernese Mountain Dogs, Great Danes, and German Shepherds? What could be better news than that?!

💸 Vending machine magic. Good decisions are rarely made as we stare into the vending machine glass that separates us from a bounty of appetizing snacks. Those decisions almost always end in one of three ways: with candy, chips, or chocolate.

Sometimes, the machine even tries its best to save us from ourselves, leaving that bag of Fritos dangling from its coil, suspended in reprieve from the swift and violent fate that awaits. Oblivious or unwilling to accept this gentle suggestion from the universe, we rock the machine within inches of tipping and pound at the glass like animals until our prize is captured.

Not today, universe!

But finally, vending machines are offering us the opportunity to make a decision we can be proud of. This holiday season, Giving Machines allow us to opt not for snacks but instead for several items dear to those in need, from toys, to medical or school supplies, to bedding.

The machines, which make giving as easy as selecting a bag of chips, are located in well-trafficked areas throughout the United States. The effort is sponsored by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, which partners with trusted nonprofits to ensure proceeds reach the right places. Admittedly, it would be nice to make a choice at a vending machine that doesn’t end in shame and orange dust-covered fingers.

🏠 Where’s Kevin?! 24 years ago, in 1990, Kate and Peter McAllister accidentally left their youngest son Kevin at home over Christmas. The movie Home Alone was a sensation, catapulting Macaulay Culkin to superstardom. For children of the ‘90s, Kevin was our hero.

At the end of both the original and the sequel, after Kevin finished torturing Harry and Marv in the most sadistic ways imaginable, he warmly reunited with his mother to fill the audience with Christmas-warm-and-fuzzies. Last week, all those years later, Culkin reunited with his stage-mother Catherine O’Hara once more, this time to receive his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

In her speech, which brought Culkin to tears, she hailed his incredible “sweet yet twisted, yet totally relatable, sense of humor,” thanking him for including her, his “fake mom that left you home alone not once but twice,” in the happy occasion. It’s an incredible full-circle moment, occurring at the perfect time of year. I can almost hear the Home Alone score playing in the background.

Sadly, Old Man Marley and his unfathomably red hands have since passed. We hope, wherever he is, those hands are toasty.

👽 The Martian on wheels. On this day in 1996, long before a fictional Matt Damon was left on Mars, NASA launched the first Mars Rover, Sojourner, into space. 8 months later, on the 4th of July, it landed on the surface of that strange planet 233 million miles away.

The rover was operational on Mars for 95 Earth days (92 sols), traveling over 100 meters. Now, that doesn’t sound like much, but stop and think about this for a second: we (the human race) basically launched a remote control car 233 MILLION miles from home to an entirely different planet to take pictures and gather data, and we successfully retrieved that data.

It sounds like the work of fiction. In fact, in The Martian, Damon’s Mark Watney finds both Sojourner and its lander, ultimately using the latter to establish contact with Earth. Just about everything about that movie is imagined, albeit with scientific credibility, but the Sojourner is really up there. To quote Mark Watney: we “scienced the shit out of [that] one.”

❤️ Heart-stoppingly beautiful. Back in 2017, Mark Child felt chest tightness as he got into his car. He only made it two miles before he pulled into an O’Reilly Auto Parts parking lot. Then, he only made it to the front of his car before he collapsed. Mark was having a heart attack.

John Fitzpatrick, a customer at O’Reilly, sprang into action. While the products at O’Reilly breathe new life into aging cars, Fitzpatrick would have to breathe new life into Child. He administered CPR until emergency responders arrived and rushed Child to the hospital.

He went into surgery and then into a medically-induced coma. His odds of survival were slim, 5%, but they might have been nonexistent without Fitzpatrick. Child did recover, and when he did, he learned about Fitzpatrick’s heroics. They later shared an emotional reunion, but that was only the beginning of their journey.

Child and his girlfriend Michelle recently made plans to get married. They asked Fitzpatrick not only to attend but to officiate the ceremony. Just as he watched over Child in the most critical moment of his life, Fitzpatrick would once again stand before him in the second most pivotal moment.

The couple calls him their “angel.” No word on whether or not O’Reilly gave Fitzpatrick a discount on new tires. Maybe a free oil change? Bad for business to have a guy croak in your parking lot…least they could do for the man who instead made it the site of a miracle.

🐢 The tortoise and the hare. Normally, this section focuses on the wonders of incredible human achievement, but today, we make a brief departure from that theme for a reminder that we share the earth with some remarkable creatures.

Jonathan the giant tortoise recently extended his record as the oldest living land animal, turning 191 years old. He’s believed to have been born in 1832, but some think that estimate could even be conservative. My dude was alive when Andrew Jackson was elected president….and he’s lived through 40 presidencies since. 1832 was the year Charles Darwin landed in South America for the first time, a full 29 years before he published On the Origin of Species.

While the world has changed over 200 years, and sometimes we might think it’s changed for the worse, Jonathan keeps on happily keepin’ on. He’s basically blind, but he continues to demonstrate a robust appetite, and there’s a realistic hope he’ll reach a third century.

While Jonathan is a tortoise, he’s also a dog, an old sailor if you will: according to vets, he maintains “good libido” at age 191.

🏀 Unlikely roommates. Over the course of a lifetime, most of us have an unlikely roommate or two. Mine was a pajama-wearing fella who eschewed his given name to go by the name of a Shakespearean character and played World of Warcraft at all hours of the night. You might not expect an NBA player to live with an unrelated man in his 60s, but that’s what Knicks center Mitchell Robinson is doing.

The man is his high school coach Butch Stockton. Stockton’s wife passed away recently, but before she did, Robinson visited her frequently in the hospital. At her funeral, recognizing his coach’s moment of need, Robinson invited Stockton to live with him, and they’ve been roomies since.

There’s an epic sitcom in there somewhere, but even Hollywood writers would have a hard time imagining kindness on Robinson’s level.

🎅 Santa Clause is an Eagle. On the field, the Philadelphia Eagles linemen are as big, fierce, and strong as they come. But off it, they have a softer side that’s just as talent-rich.

In what’s become tradition, the group recently recorded their Christmas songs. Jordan Davis is a 6’6, 336-pound defensive tackle and an absolute menace to opposing offensive lines. But he also has the voice of an angel, as proven after a brief but endearing bout with nerves in the studio.

Jordan Mailata is a 6’8, 366-pound offensive tackle. A veritable man mountain. There’s something majestic about a man that large hitting notes this high. And Jason Kelce isn’t so bad himself.

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🏈 Step by step, from stepfather to father. Nouri Nouili butted heads with his stepdad Ralf Ragaller growing up in Germany. That’s not uncommon in a stepdad-stepson relationship. There’s not much common about Nouri Nouili, though.

After Nouri grew disenchanted with soccer, a friend suggested he check out an American football practice. Though he wasn’t particularly interested, Ralf - a New England Patriots fan - encouraged him to give it a try. The large German boy soon realized a knack for the sport, and before long, he received the opportunity to move to America to pursue it further. While Nouili’s mother was reticent, Ralf recognized the opportunity was too valuable to pass up.

After a long and winding road, filled with homesickness and challenges, Nouri is a senior at Nebraska with aspirations of playing professionally. For senior day, he took the opportunity to honor the man that had served as his father since age 11. He was introduced to the crowd as “Nouri Ragaller,” approaching his family and spinning around to reveal the “Ragaller” nameplate on the back of his jersey.

Ralf’s reaction is well worth the watch. In one magical moment, the artificial barriers of “step” family melt away, leaving just the happiest family in all of Nebraska standing in front of a sellout crowd, unified for the first time under the same name.